The Human Centipede II (full sequence), 2011

I went into this with an open mind. I’ll admit that I liked the first film, I thought it was compassionate to it’s characters, starred a man with a face just perfect for horror (Deiter Laser), was more studied than I had expected and had a nice scientific aesthetic that made the perverse subject matter far easier to ‘swallow’.

The Human Centipede Full Sequence is everything you’d hoped not to see in the first film and then some.

I don’t mind extreme horror, I enjoyed Hostel, loved Wolf Creek, thought Audition was masterful, what I don’t like is ugly, grotesque horror, and that’s the stock and trade of this grubby little movie.

The plot is wafer thin and fairly unimportant except to move the victims into play for the protagonist to commit his perversions on. It concerns a fat, inarticulate man called Martin who is obsessed with the movie ‘The Human Centipede’ and wants to make a centipede of his own, only his will be longer and he is not a surgeon so instead of neat suturing and gauze, here we get gaffer tape and a staple gun.

First the good – the main character is perfectly cast with Laurence R Harvey; I can’t rememeber the last time I saw such a repellant person on screen, if this is acting he’s good, if not then I’ll bet he always gets a seat alone on the bus. The black and white (with some brown….yes, you know what parts I’m talking about) is a very nice touch and works well with the coldness of the parking garage where Martin works and the storeroom where he keeps his victims.

The rest is all bad – the actors surrounding Harvey are pretty stock standard weak, the plot is full of holes, it’s offensive on a level I cannot even begin to explain (the baby sequence DISGUSTED me, children should NEVER be in horrors unless they are the killers) and on top of all that, it’s boring.

A waste of time and a nasty piece of work.

I will not be watching the threquel..

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